Beer Game: Graduation -- The Drinking Game

Category: Endurence/Luck/Blotto

Beer Games The following items are necessary for game play: Either a spot amongst all the other graduates or a ticket for the audience. Robe, cap, and all the other paraphernalia (if a graduation candidate). A lot of beer.

Take a drink whenever a speaker uses the words:

- bright future - budgeting time - debt (see also below)
- deserving - drinking - endurance
- faculty - finally / at last - fond memories
- fraternity - friendship - future
- hard work - honor - interest, -ing
- job - knowledge - late nights/all-nighters
- love of learning - party - perseverance
- preparation - sacrifice - sorority
- study/studies - support - tuition
- vision - volunteer - work

Take three drinks when someone quotes:

Lydia Moss Bradley
Martin A. "Party Marty" Abegg
Any other former president of the university
Any of our country's Founding Fathers
A current rock hit

Slam one whenever a speaker:

Mentions the "great debt we/you owe our/your parents."
Makes a cute remark about the length of time it takes to graduate nowadays (eg., "your six or seven years here"), (slam and a half if that person has been out of college for more than two years)
Makes a cute remark about how hard it is to find a job right now (slam and a half if that person gets paid simply to be important).
Makes a serious remark about how hard it is to find a job right now.
Mentions how many National Merit Scholars there are in this graduating class.
Mentions any of the different surveys that rank colleges and universities.
Implies that college in general, and your institution in particular, is still affordable.

Slam two whenever a speaker:

Implicitly or explicitly implies that the number of National Merit Scholars in this class is a measure of the quality of education this class received at your institution.
Whenever a speaker makes a comment that is completely meaningless and obviously intended only to draw laughs, drink until the laughter dies out.
Whenever a graduate's friends and relatives are tacky enough to cheer/yell/etc. when their name is read, drink until they stop.

Drink until you lose it whenever a speaker quotes the Grateful Dead.

When in doubt, drink.

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