Ask Dr. Suds

By Dave Kelley

Dear Dr. Suds,
I have a terrible hangover. What can I do?

-Miserable, Denver, CO

Dear Miz,
Suffer. Seriously, there are only two sure ways to avoid a hangover: either don't drink or sleep for 48 hours or so after you've been overserved. Other than that, all you can do is try to survive. Aspirin and caffeine (coffee and lots of it) will help, as will drinking as much water as you can. The good news is that a recent study found that while a hangover makes you feel like death, it really won't affect your work performance (assuming your coworkers don't have any problems with your demands that all work be done in silence and total darkness). You'll feel better eventually.

Dear Dr. Suds,
If I flick a Sam Adams bottle cap really hard at my brother, can I knock him out like in the TV commercial?

- Hoping, New York, NY

Dear Hop,
Only if the bottle is still attached to the cap.

Dear Dr. Suds,
I left a little beer in the bottom of a bottle on my kitchen cabinet for a month or so, and now there's like all these little stalagmites in there. Is this cool or what?

- Amazed, Seattle, WA

Dear Mazey,
Yeah, that's cool. Remind me not to go into your kitchen next time I'm over.

Dear Dr. Suds,
Is it true that beer makes a good shampoo?

- Frizzy, New Orleans, LA

Dear Friz,
I usually recommend pouring your beer INTO your head, not ONTO your head. Beer isn't a very good shampoo, but it IS a good conditioner for your hair. Just pour a little beer on after shampooing, let it sit for a few minutes, then rinse. Your hair will look great, and you can drink whatever you don't pour on yourself. Sort of gives a whole new meaning to "lathering up," doesn't it?

(Originally published in Tap Time News)