Beer Break

Beer Break Vol. 3, No. 42
Arnold vs. King Midas?

Aug. 14, 2003

Remember the good old days before messages such as "Re: view your prize" and "RE: gec58 t rzycmoykqeuh" clogged our email boxes? Then you didn't hesitate to forward a funny email. Now, you figure, "Why be part of the problem?" Today, excuse us, because basically that is what we are doing.

This message from Dave Brodrick at Manhattan's Blind Tiger Ale House, landed in our box early in the week, promoting a gathering Wednesday (sorry, it has passed). Dave is a former journalist and unpublished (as far as we know) novelist who runs the type of bar every brewer wants his or her beer served at. The Blind Tiger recently won the Challenge Cup small bar competition.

While the story Dave weaves sounds exactly like something Dogfish Head Brewing founder/owner Sam Calagione would fabricate, Sam had nothing to do with it. He only points out that Midas Touch is 9% abv, not 6%.

"Dear Blind Tigerites:

"We've just received word that Sam from Dogfish Head has nominated a barrel of his Midas Touch for governor of California. He easily gathered the 65 signatures necessary to get on the ballot, as everyone agreed a keg of beer could run California better than Gray Davis. When Sam made his announcement in Sacramento, he was immediately besieged by reporters. Sam assured them that nowhere in the state's constitution did it say the governor had to have arms and legs, or even a face. Once this had been confirmed, the reporters looked at the keg, which was quietly sitting beside Sam. 'This is ridiculous,' one of the reporters said. 'What do we call it?' Sam said they should address the keg as 'King Midas.' He explained how archeologists had discovered the tomb of King Midas along with his last meal. Using DNA techniques, Sam had recreated the beer Midas drank before they buried him, and it was now interested in politics. 'Unfortunately, we haven't been able to recreate King Midas himself, who is probably the only person capable of saving California,' Sam said. 'We feel his beverage is the next best thing.'


"'What party is he affiliated with?' Another reporter asked. Sam explained King Midas was a candidate of the Constant Party. As far as he knew, this was the first time they had actually fielded a candidate, though they had been talking about it for years and years.

"A reporter tracked down Arnold Schwarzenegger for a comment. 'I am running against a can of beer?' He said. The reporter informed Arnold he was actually running against a whole keg. 'This is what I love about America,' Arnold said. 'It is a land of opportunity, and I promise that after I kick this keg, I will make sure everyone in California has a fantastic job.'

"Sam asked if they would like to taste the candidate. He passed around some cups, and pretty soon they were all agreeing that King Midas had more flavor than any of his rivals. Some wondered if he might actually have a chance. There would be a lot of people from California voting in the election and you never knew who or what they might go for. 'How strong is he?' Someone asked. Sam said he came in about 6% by volume. He claimed the toughest part of the campaign would be keeping the would-be governor at a constant 42 degrees as they traveled the state.

"The timing of this controversial candidacy couldn't come at a better time for us: We're hosting a 'California's Going to the Dogs' fund raiser for the potential governor tomorrow (Wednesday the 13th) at 1 p.m., as part of our annual 'Dog Dayz of Summer' Festival. Appearing with King Midas will be Dogfish's Immort Ale and 60 Minute IPA. Tom Baker of Heavyweight will be premiering his latest edition of Old Salty Barleywine, as well as his brand new Weizenbock. We'll also have a keg of Fred from Hair of the Dog ..."

That beer lineup looks to us like the beginning of a pretty powerful political party.

Tasting notes

Brewed by High Falls Brewing in New York
Michael Jackson writes:
An interesting color, somewhere between a lovely dark orange and a tawny hue. The color speaks of interesting malts, and the nose powerfully supports that expectation. There is a real promise of Vienna malts, such as might be found in a traditional Marzen-Oktoberest. I thought I did taste them in the palate, but there was more of a caramel note, a hint of smokiness, some emptiness and some mustiness.

Brewed by Boston Beer
Roger Protz writes:
I put a bottle in the fridge before cutting the grass and an hour later this really hit the spot. It's not a profound or complex beer, but its Vienna Red color and biscuity, nutty aroma and hint of hop resins are appealing. The palate is dry and malt-dominated. The finish fades fast but there is sufficient juicy malt and bitter hopes to linger on the back of the throat. Not a beer to die for, but should prove popular with the gardeners.