Valhalla... the gods await me,
open wide thy gates... embrace me,
Great halls of the battle slain,
with swords in hand.
All those who stand on shore...
raise high your hands,
to bid a last farewell....to the Viking land.
__________________
If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts...
Originally posted by BluesHarp Valhalla... the gods await me,
open wide thy gates... embrace me,
Great halls of the battle slain,
with swords in hand.
All those who stand on shore...
raise high your hands,
to bid a last farewell....to the Viking land.
Yesssssssss, that's IT!
__________________
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Ben Franklin
. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'! " "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says, "It's Not Unusual."
10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
15. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
17. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
18. Polish joke: A Polish immigrant goes to the Michigan Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an Eye Test. The optician shows him a card with the letters , 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'. "Can you read this?", the optician asks. "Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy."
Linear Mode
