You might be a homebrewer if...

[HarkJohnny]

you have thermometers in water in ever room in the house

the water company calls wondering why your usage to waste ratio is so high

you spend more time on this site during work than you do working :D

[corkybstewart]

If you have hoses with quick-connects hanging from drawer handles drying

If guests ask what the bubbling noise in the hall closet is

If your kitchen faucet has a hose adapter on it

If your mother-in-law asks why you keep dozens of bags of rabbit pellets in th freezer

[Spicoli]

If you make your family bundle up at night rather that turn on the heater.

If your feet stick to the kitchen floor.

If you count bubbles when you are bored.

If your kids complain about you always hogging the computer playing that ProMash game.

[steveh]

You have a bottle-capper that reminds your grandparents of prohibition.

S.

[gone_fishing]

You have plastic buckets, boxes of bottles, and gallon jugs in most corners of your kitchen.
You have a bottle washer permanently attached to the laundry sink.
You have an antique keg pump hanging on your office wall.
You own more than one turkey fryer.
You have more mugs than regular glasses in your cupboards.

All of these are true of me....

[BrewDog]

The biggest pot in the house is off limits to cooking food.

When someone asks if you want some mashed potatoes, and your first thought is, "Hmm, that's one way to lighten body. I wonder how much rice hulls to add so it won't stick?".

The LHBS store owner knows you by your first name.
...And he sends you a Graduation card on his kid's college graduation thanking you for sending him there.

The ATF was raided your house because some neighbor thought you were making whiskey or methamphetamine.

You are constantly measuring your "net wort".

[HarkJohnny]

you wander aimlessly around the hardware store looking for inspiration for new gadgets

you hit the streets on trash night looking for chest freezers/fridges

your 8 glasses a day of water just happen to also contain hops yeast and barley

your wife is contantly asking if *her* kitchen gadgets are in the garage again

[zoom6zoom]

You are constantly measuring your "net wort".

:D - Great one!

[mookow]

You've wondered what homemade bread would taste like if you used WYeast #3068.

[corkybstewart]

You go dumpster diving for empty bottles that had crimp-on lids.

[HogieWan]

Originally posted by mookow
You've wondered what homemade bread would taste like if you used WYeast #3068.

I wondered that about belgian yeast - hmmm

[HarkJohnny]

Originally posted by HogieWan
I wondered that about belgian yeast - hmmm

then hogie, this threads for you. (jeez that was lame-o)!

oh, and the blonde i made (adapted) from your reciped got kegged last night. will be sure to report back.

[HogieWan]

Originally posted by HarkJohnny
oh, and the blonde i made (adapted) from your reciped got kegged last night. will be sure to report back.

please do. I'm going to do some elglish ales soon, then, I'll revisited some earlier successful recipes

[HarkJohnny]

well, i tapped it and poured a growler last night to take to poker. drank the whole dang thing so i guess it was pretty good! next time i will double the hops as in your recipe. easy drinking and low gravity.

now the worst part... two hands into the night i get frantic call from my wife:

her "THERE'S BEER EVERYWHERE DOWN HERE"
me "WHAT!!!??? MY BEER!"
her "SCREW YOUR BEER.. MY BASEMENT!"

yeah. the screw part of the disconnect was just loose enough to start spraying beer everywhere inside the fridge. then leaked out and created a river. i didn't have time to give everything a good cleaning but i'm sure to hear about it again tonight. it smells like a bar in the basement and the wife is none too happy abuot that!

[fretlessman71]

This is another reason why I don't much miss homebrewing - my old friend Murphy seems to follow me around whenever I'm taking on an ambitious endeavor like that, and usually with the most disastrous results possible. You brew, I'll drink; everyone's happy. That could be my new motto!

[corkybstewart]

In keeping with Harks debacle
You may be a homebrewer if.....
You've had to interrupt a meeting because your wife called, the airlock has blown off, stinking nasty foam is running everywhere. Then with the client grinning, you explain where to find and how to sanitized the blow-off hose.

[mookow]

Originally posted by corkybstewart
In keeping with Harks debacle
You may be a homebrewer if.....
You've had to interrupt a meeting because your wife called, the airlock has blown off, stinking nasty foam is running everywhere. Then with the client grinning, you explain where to find and how to sanitized the blow-off hose.

I just put blow-offs on everything after batch #3 (a weizenbock) blew the airlock off. The only exceptions are when the 6.5gal fermenters are underfilled (I have slighty over 8 gallons of beer in two 6.5 gallon fermenters, and I didnt bother with blowoffs but used the airlocks instead) or when the beer is of such a low gravity that there is no way for it to make a huge krausen.

[DecoJuicer]

Hark,

My condolences on your loss. I'll pour a little out for you next time I open one.

[HogieWan]

Hark - I'm hoping the wife doesn't think of such situations before building my kegerator/bar for the DINING ROOM

[beerboogie]

I'll know I'm a homebrewer if I actually go out and do it

[chazwicke]

YKYHB when you finally stop brewing and just buy the beer because the selection has improved so much since the 70s when you had to brew just to have something drinkable.

[gone_fishing]

Wouldn't that be YKYWAHB?

[fretlessman71]

Or even YKYUTBAHBBNYJBBFTS?

[DecoJuicer]

Or, YKYBTIOW3EV4U89Y789Y5QHTQ89HYAGHUOSNHO;UIHTR589YQW 34VNOVHJINYU6T89W3BVN YU89N34UV5907Q3N460

[BigHead]

You'd rather boil wort than watch an X-rated video.

[gone_fishing]

Damn, just when I'm thinking I might be a home brewer, Bighead proves I ain't!

[beerboogie]

You can't do both at the same time?

[DecoJuicer]

Originally posted by BigHead
You'd rather boil wort than watch an X-rated video.

You'd rather boil wort than MAKE an X-rated video.:confused:

[wild]

Originally posted by DecoJuicer
You'd rather boil wort than MAKE an X-rated video.:confused:
What? You can't do both?

[DecoJuicer]

Originally posted by wild
What? You can't do both?

Kinky....

[wild]

Originally posted by DecoJuicer
Kinky....
...and dangerous!

[Beer Monkey]

Originally posted by wild
...and dangerous!

only if you get a boilover...

could totally throw your hop schedule...

LOL and what you call that beer?

the humpinator?

[Spicoli]

Little more irish moss for the protein haze.:eek:

[fretlessman71]

Originally posted by DecoJuicer
Or, YKYBTIOW3EV4U89Y789Y5QHTQ89HYAGHUOSNHO;UIHTR589YQW 34VNOVHJINYU6T89W3BVN YU89N34UV5907Q3N460 GOTTA hear the translation for THIS one...

[HarkJohnny]

Originally posted by DecoJuicer
Hark,

My condolences on your loss. I'll pour a little out for you next time I open one.

I figure I lost about 2.5 to 3 gallons! I keg was rather light when i went to move it last night. shame... but that said, I have a whole 'nother one sitting right next to it :D

[corkybstewart]

But lost beer is like lost time-it can never be replaced.

[DecoJuicer]

Originally posted by corkybstewart
But lost beer is like lost time-it can never be replaced.

That is very poetic...brought a tear to my eye. I need to go tell my beer how much I'll miss it when it's gone.

[corkybstewart]

I'm planning on spending some quality time with my offspring tonight-my son Porter, daughter Hefe, and my Wife(beer). They need to know just how much I love them.

[beerboogie]

LOL brother I just adopted a family of six

[corkybstewart]

2 of Hogies "children" have been staying at my house since Christmas. Maybe I should let them out tonight.

[BluesHarp]

Originally posted by corkybstewart
In keeping with Harks debacle
You may be a homebrewer if.....
You've had to interrupt a meeting because your wife called, the airlock has blown off, stinking nasty foam is running everywhere. Then with the client grinning, you explain where to find and how to sanitized the blow-off hose.

Now that rings true!! Mine was Imperial Stout...:D

You may be a homebrewer if:

You have three fridges in your basement, and all your soda and bottled water are sitting on ther floor next to them.

[gone_fishing]

You may be a homebrewer if you buy one of these (http://www.mastermindtoys.com/store/product.asp?product_code=69005&subcat=906&agecat=0&cat=0&brand=110&page=1)
for your kid.

[The Beerbellian]

If your friends turn the other way when you come down the street with a twelve pack under your arm.
If your wife starts demanding her turkey baster back.
You really do smell like a brewery!

[corkybstewart]

If your wife takes homemade salad dressing to work in a White Labs yeast vial
If you store your bulk dishwasher detergent in 5 STar PBW jars
If your wife opens the shower curtain in the spare bathroom and shouts "What the **** are these doing in here?" and you answer "Diacetyl rest, should be outta there in a day or 2."

[skorpion317]

Originally posted by gone_fishing
You may be a homebrewer if you buy one of these (http://www.mastermindtoys.com/store/product.asp?product_code=69005&subcat=906&agecat=0&cat=0&brand=110&page=1)
for your kid.

that is a VERY disturbing site. a sample from the first toy on there:

Giant Microbe Ebola Plush Toy
Ages 8 and up

Learn about this deadly disease.

Since its discovery in 1976, Ebola has become the T. Rex of microbes. Share the love! Read about this virus that can end in death.

sounds like a wonderful children's toy.