My brew day from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ray m]

Not a good brew day at my house. Had a retirement party to go to this afternoon (430 pm). I work nights, was off tonight & planned on getting up at 9 am to brew. Well, I got up at 1045 am. Yeast starter was already made (yesterday), and overflowing the airlock. Onward, I decided. I should have known that attempting to brew an all-grain batch with a major time constraint (5 hours max., including milling the grain, cooling & getting into the fermenter) was a no-no. Being the ballsy dumb-ass I am, I feared no evil. It started during the mash...had the timer on the microwave going and my son decided to heat up chicken nuggets for lunch---went to check my mash time only to find the time erased, and Jared happily eating his lunch. Time to sparge...stuck sparge...had to go through the "un-stuck sparge" procedure, adding at least 40 minutes to my brew day. I'm screwed. Damn near got a second stuck sparge, but saved it; however, had to strain the wort 3x before boiling to get out the grain that made it into the brew kettle, risking hot-side aeration. Boil fortunately goes without incident with my turkey fryer's maiden voyage. Boil ends at 330 pm. Brew day comes to a grinding halt. I cover the kettle & let it sit in the garage. Shower & go to retirement party...have to be home by 7pm for a damn boosters meeting. I figure I'll cool the wort after the meeting, which should end by 9. Meeting doesn't end til 10---I am @#$!ing pissed---nobody would leave my house. Feel like chucking the batch. I muster the energy to finish the brewing jail sentence (why did I do this today, I asked?). Wife has a pissy disposition, because I have a pissy disposition. She goes to bed, I finally get the brew cooled & into the fermenter at 1130 pm. Thank God my OG was 1.052. Now I worry if any critters got into my covered wort during it's 7 hour cooling rest. I sure am interested in how THIS batch will turn out. If this brew is even remotely OK, I will consider it a victory. Sorry for the looong thread, but I had to vent...anyone suffer a similar purgatory?????:mad:

[ray m]

One last thing happened that made this day complete...I was rinsing out my rotating sparge arm (why I did this I don't know) in the utility tub and one of the little rubber wedges that sticks in either end of the sparge arm popped out of my hand and went down the drain.....I think I'll go back to extract brewing..........:mad:

[paul84043]

Crap Ray!!!! Don't you hate it when that happens??

I had a bad extract day once and decided that it wasn't worth the aggrivation to attempt to brew in a hurry.

The problem is that the words "beer" and " hurry" are complete opposites and should never be used at the same time unless used in a context like "Hurry and open that beer." then its okay.

You angered the beer gods who are jealous, though in a laid back way, and do not like to share thier attention and definitely do not like to be rushed!
Bad move....

I also found that if you become too arrogant and believe that you can drink 10 high gravity IPA's that you made, the beer gods wrath is not pretty....

You must seek the forgiveness of the beer gods, maybe sacrifice one of your kids to them, they would like that. If you don't have any kids to spare, I would be happy to give you one.

[mcarlson74]

After a day like that there is really only one thing left to do. In the words of Beldar Conehead "consume mass quantities."

[sallad]

i was talking w/ my mother last night and she asked me how the beer making was going. i told her its frustrating cuz i haven't had much time to whip up a batch lately... she said, "you know, they make beer." my reply was, "so do i!!"

i guess the point is... if you're ever in a serious pinch for beer, you could *gasp* buy some from the store... i know thats not the point, but... blah!

[ray m]

Yes, Paul, MC & Sallad...I definitely imbibed a bit after my clean-up was done (but not too much to anger the beer gods AGAIN). One lesson I definitely learned, and will NEVER do again, is brew under the gun...something is bound to go wrong under such extreme conditions. I did go to "beer god confession" last night (not too much was on "nick @ night"---other than the hottie-licious blond on "Wings"!!) and begged forgiveness. When I awoke this afternoon, I found my airlock chugging along, and the "wort hurricane" therein was in overdrive. Successful batch?? I won't know til next week when I rack over...........

[YamahaXS]

well, Ray, you lived and now you are stronger for it.

+1 constitution to you and 1500 XPs to boot, 750 XP for your wife, and 250 for your son.

:D

[barley ben]

after hearing that story, i don't feal as bad about last weekends experience. my saturday plans were to stop by the parents housse for a bit and then enjoy an evening of peaceful homebrewing. well i ending up at my parents till about 1000 at night. desided to do it anyway. by the time i got set up and through brewing, it was 230 - 300 in the morning. while the pot was cooling, i sit down exhausted and the next thing i know is that the clock said 900 am. at least i was using ice bath and not a chiller. finished at 900 the next morning. its been a week almost a no signs of bad bugs!!!

you know, all the books are right... give yourself plenty of time so you don't have to try to rush it. its much more enjoyable!

[ray m]

Yamaha...forgive me for asking this, but what do you mean by "XP's"? (I'm tired as hell, reading this at work at 5 am).

[toneyc]

XPs are Experience Points, usually awarded for completing tasks or vanquishing monsters in role playing games.

:)
Toney.

[fretlessman71]

Heeheehee.... who wants to create a role playing game about brewing? We could call it something like "The Mad Zymurgist".... :D

[threecb]

wouldn't it be great to be able to cast a "Chill Wort" spell? :D

(So not only are there beer geeks here, but DND geeks too...)

[fretlessman71]

How about an "anti-drunk" spell that could not only reverse the inebriating effects of beer, but ward off those who have imbibed far too much that evening? Now, THAT would be nice.... ;)

[sallad]

back in my rpg days, our dm would give us "brew stones," a little magic item that made all alcohol within 100' 4x as strong or some such thing... we'd use it to start bar room brawls. i've rather grown out of that stage, though it was quite fun!

[mcarlson74]

Alright you folks are starting to scare me now!! lol How did we go from an bad brew day to DnD.

[Fast_Eddy]

This is way off topic...

I grew in SC and this was circa 1982. Did anyone else's mother worry that you(and your friends) were worshipping Satan by playing DnD?

[YamahaXS]

I think my mom was worried that we would get stuck in a sewer main and die. Of course what she didn't realize is that we quit playing in the sewer lines when we got too tall to easily travel through them. Getting a concrete burn on the top of your head sucks!

[toneyc]

I think my Mom was OK with it, but my Aunt burned my cousin's books. But then, both my Aunt and my cousin are a wee bit on the wobbly side. I started playing in 78, I think, just before the hardbound books came out. Haven't played much in the last 10 years or so, mainly because the computer games seem so much less trouble. And (to get this somewhat back on topic) I don't have to buy beer for the whole group in the computer game!

Anybody know which game this is from? "I need some ale!"

:)
Toney.

[Fast_Eddy]

Originally posted by toneyc


Anybody know which game this is from? "I need some ale!"

:)
Toney.

Is this quote from a computer RPG? I don't know what it is.

Later I'll post a link to download a little movie that satirizes a DnD session...it's hilarious.

[Helgar]

Baldur's Gate

[Fast_Eddy]

What DnD sessions were really like!! (http://eddyf.com/summonergeeks.exe)

[mmmBeer...]

My god that was sooo funny! :eek: (and dredged up some long lost memories!)

[toneyc]

Originally posted by Helgar
Baldur's Gate

Helgar gets the prize!!!

:D
Toney.

[Beerconnoisseur]

Well, I got to join the club of stuck mashes last night.... but when 4 lbs. of wheat is part of the grain bill, it can happen pretty easily.

But then, I also used about 1/2 gal. less mash water than I really needed. So, my advice for those doing all-grain is to use the formula:

1.1 qts. x (lbs. of grain) / 4 = total gal. mash water needed

Don't let stuck mashes happen to you. :eek:

[ray m]

Welcome to the club, beerconn!! They do suck, don't they?? My belgian wit recipe had about 4 lbs. of wheat malt, plus 1/2 to 3/4 lb. of flaked wheat. I am happy to report, gents, that I think this brew turned out awesome!! Bottled it on Friday, force carbed one tap-a-draft bottle, and my inaugural tapping will be in a couple days. I tasted almost a whole glass during bottling and it is gooooooooooood---added a bottle of peach flavoring....perfect for the 90 degree weather we're having here now!!

[bros. ale]

damm guys it would be GREAT to get together for a brewfeast u all are the best think it would be a night of laughs and great beer :cool:

[Beerconnoisseur]

It wasn't too bad; I just stirred the mash at the bottom a bit w/ my long-handled spoon. But I'd just as soon avoid that happening again.

It's the kind of experience that makes you think to yourself "God, I need a beer!" Or just need a beer a bit more than usual. :)