Grey Wolf
12-29-2004, 02:34 AM
OK guys, I have been reading the forum for a month or so now and really enjoy everyone’s attitude, kindness and wealth of knowledge they are willing to share with the less in knowing. This in mind, I decided to give my try at beer tasting and put my thoughts in words as I enjoy a “cold one.” Please bear in mind this is based on a true story and I will do as I can to give the related feelings to the reader. Please let me know how I do.
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I will not be held responsible for any home brew, craft/micro brew (or other liquid) that gets spit upon your keyboard…. you HAVE been warned!
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After an evening of scrubbing down the kitchen in a seasonal cleaning effort, the wife and baby went to bed and the worker bee decided he wanted a beer. He loaded into the car, and went to the nearest store…
The ambiance of the selected store was over lighting from bright florescent lights. The cooler doors were littered with an abundance of gaudy and overdone advertisements, showing the cheapest prices of the selected brews. The medley of intoxicating liquids would have made any frat boy, or in my area, young soldier ecstatic with the potential drunkenness in front of their eyes.
Bud, Miller, Coors were all represented with great flare and almost every variety therein.
Additionally there were Malt liquors, wine coolers and the variety of Smirnoff bottled cocktails that make younger club going females lick there lips in excitement. Shiner and Heineken represented the elite of the choices that I faced for evaluation.
Being the day before payday, after Christmas, and being a new parent, I reach into my rear pocket and withdrew my billfold to find what I had to spend on the nights brewed enjoyment. Much to my knowledge, I found a solitary dollar bill. I then reach into my front pocket and retrieved what change I had, finding a treasure of one quarter, one dime and one nickel. With my redneck and white trash roots and up bringing in mind, I knew that the $1.40 would be more than enough to find a brew to take home and call mine.
I located, on the top shelf of a variety of American classics, a massive 32 ounce, gold aluminum can that glistened in the bright lighting. The label read “The Champagne of Beers.” The finest part, the price tag was only $1.39. I retrieved the front most can, and found it to be ice cold, of course that MUST be a good thing! After paying for the wonderful brew, I proudly left all my change in the cup, located on the counter, for a worthy and needy cause, knowing my contribution made a difference in some ones life.
Some may ask why I chose to taste test a brew from an aluminum can, over the classic brown bottle. Based on my knowledge and level of training, I know that light can cause a normal great brew to go skunky and bad. Therefore, I thought that if there is possible no light reaching the brew, the better. Thus, the can got the nod over the other American staple, the brown 40 ounce bottle.
After arriving back at the trailer, I sat down, with a normal American pint glass to enjoy the fruits of my purchase. I popped the pull-tab on the can and heard a normal, cracking then hissing sound coming from the can. Nothing out of ordinary or of much notable excitement.
I then poured a portion of the enormous can into the waiting glass. The brew poured a bright yellow, but very clear. A gigantic head formed in the glass, taking up 2-3 inches. The head was a white, nearing the color of normal printing paper. The head took forever to go away and I did not try to revive it, fearing the same long wait.
The nose of the beer was lacking. Hints of dirty urinals, shoes and watered down urine. As the beer warned, the hints of urine gained strength.
The beers initial flavor was watery, near the flavor of good, crisp, clean bottled water. Carbonation was also noted.
Body was very thin, but stayed thin as the beer warned. The carbonation kept strong and was always there when looked for.
This brew was what I was looking for after a hard day of labor. It was not the flavor, hops, yeast, or any of the ordinary elements that make a beer good. What appealed to me most was that after paying hard earned money for the colossal can o brew; I was able to down it, entirely, in about four gulps. Aahhh, nothing like a cheap refreshing American marco brew to tantalize you taste buds after long hard day of worker you fingers to the bone.
The tasting session was performed, while listening to a local hard rock station. The music being played ranged from classic Ozzy and Aerosmith to new greats, like “Control” by Puddle of Mud and “Let the body’s hit the floor” by Drowning Pool (who sadly lost a member to an overdose earlier in the year.)
Despite my happiness, I can only recommend this beer to someone who is in dire need for an alcoholic fix, and only has s small amount of money to achieve it. The beer is best served very, very cold, since, like i mentioned, the urine smell only gets worse as it warms.
John the Redneck Beer Taster
************
I will not be held responsible for any home brew, craft/micro brew (or other liquid) that gets spit upon your keyboard…. you HAVE been warned!
************
After an evening of scrubbing down the kitchen in a seasonal cleaning effort, the wife and baby went to bed and the worker bee decided he wanted a beer. He loaded into the car, and went to the nearest store…
The ambiance of the selected store was over lighting from bright florescent lights. The cooler doors were littered with an abundance of gaudy and overdone advertisements, showing the cheapest prices of the selected brews. The medley of intoxicating liquids would have made any frat boy, or in my area, young soldier ecstatic with the potential drunkenness in front of their eyes.
Bud, Miller, Coors were all represented with great flare and almost every variety therein.
Additionally there were Malt liquors, wine coolers and the variety of Smirnoff bottled cocktails that make younger club going females lick there lips in excitement. Shiner and Heineken represented the elite of the choices that I faced for evaluation.
Being the day before payday, after Christmas, and being a new parent, I reach into my rear pocket and withdrew my billfold to find what I had to spend on the nights brewed enjoyment. Much to my knowledge, I found a solitary dollar bill. I then reach into my front pocket and retrieved what change I had, finding a treasure of one quarter, one dime and one nickel. With my redneck and white trash roots and up bringing in mind, I knew that the $1.40 would be more than enough to find a brew to take home and call mine.
I located, on the top shelf of a variety of American classics, a massive 32 ounce, gold aluminum can that glistened in the bright lighting. The label read “The Champagne of Beers.” The finest part, the price tag was only $1.39. I retrieved the front most can, and found it to be ice cold, of course that MUST be a good thing! After paying for the wonderful brew, I proudly left all my change in the cup, located on the counter, for a worthy and needy cause, knowing my contribution made a difference in some ones life.
Some may ask why I chose to taste test a brew from an aluminum can, over the classic brown bottle. Based on my knowledge and level of training, I know that light can cause a normal great brew to go skunky and bad. Therefore, I thought that if there is possible no light reaching the brew, the better. Thus, the can got the nod over the other American staple, the brown 40 ounce bottle.
After arriving back at the trailer, I sat down, with a normal American pint glass to enjoy the fruits of my purchase. I popped the pull-tab on the can and heard a normal, cracking then hissing sound coming from the can. Nothing out of ordinary or of much notable excitement.
I then poured a portion of the enormous can into the waiting glass. The brew poured a bright yellow, but very clear. A gigantic head formed in the glass, taking up 2-3 inches. The head was a white, nearing the color of normal printing paper. The head took forever to go away and I did not try to revive it, fearing the same long wait.
The nose of the beer was lacking. Hints of dirty urinals, shoes and watered down urine. As the beer warned, the hints of urine gained strength.
The beers initial flavor was watery, near the flavor of good, crisp, clean bottled water. Carbonation was also noted.
Body was very thin, but stayed thin as the beer warned. The carbonation kept strong and was always there when looked for.
This brew was what I was looking for after a hard day of labor. It was not the flavor, hops, yeast, or any of the ordinary elements that make a beer good. What appealed to me most was that after paying hard earned money for the colossal can o brew; I was able to down it, entirely, in about four gulps. Aahhh, nothing like a cheap refreshing American marco brew to tantalize you taste buds after long hard day of worker you fingers to the bone.
The tasting session was performed, while listening to a local hard rock station. The music being played ranged from classic Ozzy and Aerosmith to new greats, like “Control” by Puddle of Mud and “Let the body’s hit the floor” by Drowning Pool (who sadly lost a member to an overdose earlier in the year.)
Despite my happiness, I can only recommend this beer to someone who is in dire need for an alcoholic fix, and only has s small amount of money to achieve it. The beer is best served very, very cold, since, like i mentioned, the urine smell only gets worse as it warms.
John the Redneck Beer Taster