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View Full Version : Just When We Thought Parisite Hilton Couldn't Possibly Be Any More Useless


animal
11-13-2007, 02:40 PM
I generally don't pay much attention to celebrities and usually try to ignore Parisite, but this item just went right thru me like a hot knife thru butter.

Hilton tries to help drunken elephants (http://omg.yahoo.com/hilton-tries-to-help-drunk-elephants/news/3966#comments) November 13, 2007, 9:04 am PST

Associated Press

GAUHATI, India - With Rwanda off her charity calendar, Paris Hilton has turned her attention to the plight of ... drunken elephants in India.

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite was quoted as saying by the World Entertainment News Network's Web site.

In the wake of her jail term for an alcohol-related reckless driving case, Hilton is seeking to remake her image from club-hopping party girl to world-traveling do-gooder. She announced plans to do charity work in Rwanda, but the trip was postponed until next year.

Then opportunity for Hilton's "global elephant campaign" knocked last month when six parched pachyderms broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya and guzzled farmers' homemade rice beer. The elephants went on a rampage, then uprooted an electricity pole and were jolted to death.

"There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in last week in Tokyo, where she was judging a beauty contest.

Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, told The Associated Press: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk."

"As part of her global elephant campaign, Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants," Goswami said.

Hilton's publicist couldn't immediately be reached Tuesday to verify her comments. Another conservationist said elephant alcohol abuse was just a symptom of the real problem. (No, he wasn't talking about celebrities.)

"Elephants appear on human settlements ... because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, who heads Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group. "A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact."

Someone really needs to tell this brainless bimbo that there's people RIGHT HERE IN AMERICA that could use some of her money if she really wants to put it to good use. Maybe she could do something to correct the growing hop crisis. Of all the good things she could do, she picks something like this? She's the poster child for "dumb blondes". Why doesn't she help the homeless; support Katrina victims, fund orphanages, sponsor drug awareness, or something of real relevance? No, she wants to rehabilitate alcoholic elephants. I'm pretty sure that the local authorities can handle it without her help.

Parisite is a living, breathing, walking reason why stupid people should NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER, be allowed to breed. We don't need any more like her.
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zoom6zoom
11-13-2007, 06:20 PM
I really don't know what she expects. After all, we've already taken away all the elephant's drivers licenses.

BathroomBrew
11-13-2007, 06:34 PM
If i heard that Paris Hilton was trying to speak out for an organization to wanted to help me, i would drink myself into a stupor and rip down some telephone wires as well. Some how it sounds less painful then having to be associated with her.

Celebrities should just entertain, errr. . . .what the hell does she do? you know as a productive member of society, err. . . never mind.

Let's start a foundation that places brainless celebrities, into giant pens with drunken elephants?

chazwicke
11-13-2007, 06:56 PM
Actually, I heard on TV this evening that AP retracted that story. Apparently the whole thing was untrue. Weird that we all believed it and it seemed so plausable.

animal
11-13-2007, 09:27 PM
Originally posted by BathroomBrew
If i heard that Paris Hilton was trying to speak out for an organization to wanted to help me, i would drink myself into a stupor and rip down some telephone wires as well. Some how it sounds less painful then having to be associated with her.

Castration would be a more pleasant experience than being associated with her.

Originally posted by BathroomBrew
Celebrities should just entertain, errr. . . .what the hell does she do? you know as a productive member of society, err. . . never mind.

Basically she just takes up space and oxygen.

She can't act- the only acting she did I'll ever like was when she got killed in House Of Wax.

And she CERTAINLY can't sing worth a shit to save her life. I was most unfortunate enough to hear "Stars Are Blind" on a jukebox at a restaurant, and even with dubbing it sounded like a cat getting raped. I should've had whoever played it arrested for assault.

Originally posted by BathroomBrew
Let's start a foundation that places brainless and useless celebrities, into giant pens with drunken elephants?

I'll be happy to donate!! Throw in Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Jacko, Richard Simmons, Rosie O' Donnell, Tom Cruise, Sharon Osbourne, Ellen DeGeneres, the Olsen Twins, Barbra Streisand, Fergie, 50 Cent, Kayne West, Sean Combs, Celine Dion, Bono, Justin Timberlake, K-Fed, Nick Lachey, Avril Lavigne, Fall Out Boy, Madonna, Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Bill O' Reilly, Michael Vick, O.J. Simpson, Billy Ray Cyrus- and his daughter, ....



Basically the celebs I wouldn't mind seeing thrown in with drunken elephants could fill a giant arena. Hey, we could make it a Pay Per View event!!
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animal
11-13-2007, 09:34 PM
Originally posted by chazwicke
Actually, I heard on TV this evening that AP retracted that story. Apparently the whole thing was untrue. Weird that we all believed it and it seemed so plausable.

Chaz- I'm sure you've heard; the richer they are, the weirder they are. And of course one couldn't really put something like this past Parisite, considering that she has considerably less intellect and IQ than a rock.
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BathroomBrew
11-14-2007, 10:49 AM
Originally posted by chazwicke
Actually, I heard on TV this evening that AP retracted that story. Apparently the whole thing was untrue. Weird that we all believed it and it seemed so plausable.

I'm still up for the foundation either way

MrNate
11-14-2007, 11:00 AM
Some people's greatest contribution to society would be keeping the pigs well-fed.

animal
11-16-2007, 07:45 AM
Originally posted by zoom6zoom
I really don't know what she expects. After all, we've already taken away all the elephant's drivers licenses.

ROTFLMGDFAOOL!!!!!!!!!!!
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gestyr
11-16-2007, 09:03 AM
Originally posted by MrNate
Some people's greatest contribution to society would be keeping the pigs well-fed.

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.